Hiring Out Services

For some reason my new job has taken me to a new level of busyness and stress. Maybe its the fact that I can't slack off as much as a I was able to do with a company that I'd been with for 9 years. Maybe the work is more time consuming? Or it could just be because it's new. In addition, my little boy is getting older and needing MUCH more attention. This has led to NO time after work for things like cooking, cleaning, yard work, showering, etc.

I know I can't hire out showering...but what about the other stuff. I got to thinking, how much is our time worth? How much money do we have in the budget to bring in some help occasionally. How do you decide if it's right for you and your family?

We're a very frugal family. DIYer's if I may. My DH can really do anything, learn anything around the house. He re-did our roof, he just finished our deck. He does all the remodeling, fixing, repairs, and yard work. We never call a serviceman. Our furnace goes out...he fixes/replaces it that night. He fixes our cars, changes our tires/oil, etc. I have a handy-man available and I'm sooo greatful! However it does make it more difficult in deciding whether to pay someone to do things we're capable of doing ourselves. It really comes down to time for us.

What do I want to spend the few hours I have afterwork-with my son doing? Cleaning?? NO! Long story short-I thought it would be extremely helpful to hire out some help. Possibly someone to come in a do a clean once a month? Maybe someone to mow the lawn for my hubby every other week?

We NEED my income-at least part of it. Since I have a good job though, we usually have a little extra-we normally like to save it, but I figured that I'm a working mom. While I'm making good money, having to leave my baby during the day, I should at least get to spend quality time with him when I get home and not worry about the house.

In addition, we lost our new sitter-so we had to start looking for one. What an opportune time to consider a nanny. Someone to come watch our baby, and tidy up a little. We checked out the budget and it would work. I could still come home and feed him (it's even closer to my work!).

So now, we have a nanny, and I'm just scheduled my late mother's day gift-a cleaning service. Just one time for now, but I'm trying to find a way to make it monthly!

Now just to convince my hubby to hire a kid to mow our lawn...

Feeling Worn Out And A Little Lost

I have quite a few other posts in the works right now, but this topic is on my heart right now. I'm not sure if it's the stress of a new job or if it's that my baby is at a really fun stage so I'm missing him more than ever or if it's that I feel like our house is ALWAYS a mess, I never get to the gym, having to make dinner makes me want to cry, etc. Is this how us working moms/wives/women/person always feel?

I was at my last job for 9 years. I had a lot of flexibility and freedom. I was able to pump 3 times a day for 30 minutes, still take at least a 30 minute lunch, and was able to leave early or come in late if necessary. Being at a company for that long has it's perks. From there, I went to being home for 2 weeks with my baby boy. He's 6.5 months now and SO much fun. He's crawling, sitting, eating solids, 'talking', laughing and more! Then going from that to a new job where I should really be 'more dedicated'. I hate being the one person there who has to take 2 schedule breaks, come in later than everyone else because of taking the baby to the babysitter, and has to leave exactly at 5 because I have to get home to feed Elijah. Plus, I have to re-schedule or leave meetings and trainings around my breaks-especially because I actually feed Elijah instead of just pumping. I already feel like I'm the biggest slacker in the office! It's adding a lot of stress.

When I accepted this job, I knew it would be long hours and some weekends. I really wanted this job, and I really needed a job-so I was fine with it. Now that I'm there I'm having small panic attacks thinking of 3 weekends in a row or holidays that I won't be home with my baby and hubby. I traded travel from my old job to nights and weekends at my new job. I knew it was coming, but it's here and harder than I thought.

Then of course there's our desire to eat REAL FOOD. Which doesn't usually include quick fixins and take out. This is really important to me, so I'll continue doing it-but it still is 'one more thing'. Add to that my desire to work out more and  my 1st 5K coming up and needing to train. I went to the gym 2 days ago and was only there 5 minutes before I got a call from my hubby on what solids to feed him. I could only run for 15 minutes, then I had to get home for bedtime.

Let's throw in my desire to be a better wife, better my relationship with God by actually DOING my quiet times, have a straightened home (not even spotless, just straightened), making baby food instead of the jarred stuff, and tossing around the idea of cloth diapers-I pretty much want to crawl in a hole and never come out!

I hope you're not thinking I'm a complete wimp at this point! It feels like so much, like I'm going to have to drop something!

On the good side, at church this Sunday, I grabbed a few of our recorded services since I haven't gotten a chance to listen much lately with Elijah. I popped in a CD and our pastor was talking about how God is big enough. I haven't even gotten all the way though, but it gives me hope. He's talking about how we need to find our rest in Jesus. How life get's crazy and hard, and we need rest. I am feeling this need very much right now. I just need to figure out how to hand my burden to Jesus and find my rest in him. I'll hopefully finish the disc tomorrow and learn how to accomplish just that.

Back To Work

Today is my first day at my new job. I'm actually really excited to begin something new. It's been 9 years since I started a new job, so I'm at a complete loss of how it will go. I know that God brought this job to me, so everything will be great. There will be a learning curve, but hopefully I catch on quick.

In my last post about being a working mom, I was really anxious to go back. I was looking at 'going back to work' as some monumental doomsday headed my way. I tend to do that with a lot of things. I checked out a favorite blog of mine The Graceful Mom for some encouragement. One of the posts I read there really hit home the next few days. She spoke about how working moms are wired different than stay at home moms. After reading this post, I realized how true it was. I stayed home for two weeks and the second week I was excited to go back. I loved spending time with Peanut, and cooking, and even enjoyed {attempt}keeping the house clean. I had so many projects I wanted to get done. Somehow the time flew by so quickly and the only project I finished was hubby assigned-to clean out some of my clothes.

I realized I have a hard time organizing my day as much when I'm home. Part of the day I don't know what to do with my time, the other part I'm frantically cleaning, budgeting, cooking, grocery shopping, and more. I also realized it's nice being at work and having some 'me' time. I feel much more responsible to have a perfect home when I'm home all day than when I'm working 40 hours a week.

I want to be a stay at home mom, but now I realize that when the time comes it will take getting used to. It will take time to re-wire. I praise God for this difference in me and other working moms. I agree with Bethany from The Graceful Mom that it's a tool he uses to remind us that he has us where he wants us for now.

Already Anxious

I'm having a bad 'working mom' day. Which is funny because I'm currently in between jobs and taking 2 weeks off to relax, spend time at home and spend time with my baby boy. The past 3 days have been great. I've made healthy meals, cleaned my house a little, and read and played with my baby.

Today however, I remembered that I can't stay home with him forever. This will end, and too soon. I just want to cuddle him, read to him, play with him. I want to be the face he sees when he wakes up from his nap. I know I have 1.5 weeks left, but I can't help feel the impending doom.

I know once I get back to my new job, things will get back into swing. There's just so many changes that are taking place. Not only will I be starting a new job, we just found out yesterday that our child care provider, which we love-I mean LOVE, can no longer watch our son. We knew it was coming, but there was a part of me that was hoping that something would miraculously work out-for her and for us.

When I started work 3 months ago after a 12 week maternity leave, I was a wreck. The one thing that made it easier was our babysitter. She was amazing. We felt so great dropping our son off at her house. It's a nice home, with no other children besides our Peanut. Her kids are in their 20's so they would play with him when he was awake. There are so many great things I can say about her. If we had enough money to pay her a 'real' salary, I would do it in a heart beat-however if we had enough money to do that, I would stay home in half a heart beat.

So besides me wishing I could be a stay at home mom, I'm also feeling the responsibility of finding another sitter in the next 1.5 weeks. I would like to find someone that gives me the feeling I got 3 months ago, especially when starting a new job. I know God will provide someone, it's just hard to wait.